I found a stress diet
We should all stick to this most ingenious stress diet!
[transcribed from image]
Stress Diet
Breakfast
half grapefruit
1 slice whole-wheat toast
250ml skim milk
Lunch
125g lean grilled fish
1 cut steamed zuccini
1 Tim Tam biscuit
herb tea
Mid-Afternoon Snack
rest of packet of Tim Tams
2 litres of chocolate ice scream
1 bottle Ice Magic
Dinner
2 loaves garlic bread
1 large pepperoni and mushroom pizza
1 large jug beer
3 Milky Way bars
1 entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from freezer
Important Dieting Tips
- If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
- If you drink lo-cal drink with a chocolate bar they cancel each other out.
- When eating with someone else, calories don’t count if you both eat the same amount.
- Food used for medicinal purposes never counts (e.g. lemon and honey, brandy, chicken soup, Sara Lee cheesecake).
- Movie-related food such as scorched almonds, Jaffas, popcorn, don’t count because they are simply part of the whole entertainment experience and not part of one’s personal fuel.
- Broken biscuits contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

found in a cupboard