The Jawa

I found a stress diet

We should all stick to this most ingenious stress diet!

[transcribed from image]

Stress Diet

Breakfast

half grapefruit
1 slice whole-wheat toast
250ml skim milk

Lunch

125g lean grilled fish
1 cut steamed zuccini
1 Tim Tam biscuit
herb tea

Mid-Afternoon Snack

rest of packet of Tim Tams
2 litres of chocolate ice scream
1 bottle Ice Magic

Dinner

2 loaves garlic bread
1 large pepperoni and mushroom pizza
1 large jug beer
3 Milky Way bars
1 entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from freezer

Important Dieting Tips

1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink lo-cal drink with a chocolate bar they cancel each other out.
3. When eating with someone else, calories don’t count if you both eat the same amount.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes never counts (e.g. lemon and honey, brandy, chicken soup, Sara Lee cheesecake).
5. Movie-related food such as scorched almonds, Jaffas, popcorn, don’t count because they are simply part of the whole entertainment experience and not part of one’s personal fuel.
6. Broken biscuits contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

found in a cupboard